Friday, June 11, 2010

Starting over

Last night Andy and I decided that we've been rushing into everything because were so desperate to have our live the way it was before the deployment. So now were going to be taking it one day at a time. Which I'm hoping will help out our marriage ... Onto some other news Andy was told to go to legal because of the way his unit is treating him so he might either get his full rank back or get to become at least a E-2 which would be GREAT!!! and it would take a LOAD off my mind lol but what would be REALLY GREAT!! is if they decided to PCS us out of Texas and away from fort hood YAY! ... NOW about our cutiepie Sophie who is becoming a little known it all and she's not even 1! she's starting to eat with her hands and she's starting to get the hang of crawling which scares me to death. Because my mom told me that once little girls start to move and talk it will all go down hill from there lmao. And she is discovering her own voice which is SO funny she'll just randomly start screaming and then bust out laughing... Tho we have noticed that she is upset with mommy because i lowered her crib down so she couldn't fall out. See Back when my mom came down here she had gotten Sophie a fish mobile that she absolutely loves but since mommy lowered her bed down she cant touch them :_( and she's pissed off!! I've noticed that she tends to get frustrated when she cant get it down right away.

Friday, June 4, 2010


So Andy comes home today and starts to tell me all the bad things that is happening to him due his unit! Well i have two words for his unit F YOU!!! I thought a unit was suppose to be a team of soldiers always willing to help a fellow solider out? BUT NO ... Not Andy's unit his NCO's are nothing but slow RETARDS!!! who wouldn't know a crack on the ground from their own crack in their ass!! and dont even get my started on his 1st SGT. who apparently thinks he's god lmao!! he's one of the problems GOD DAMN IT! this whole unit needs to be changed out ... luckily his commander is leaving this June and I'm not sure when his 1st SGT. is going to be replaced but i hope it's soon!! Andy really is a good Solider and he deserve his rank back it's pretty sad when soldiers have no respect for the army or their fellow soldiers. I've been keeping him organized since he's been home so he'll always be ready and I'm trying to help him make a good impression but i dont know what else to do. His 1st SGT. hates cooks (which is what he is) and he also hates people with a profile. Which is pretty fucked up seeing as he now has one himself hmmmm now who is the hypercritical one??? I think he just needs to remove the stick from his ass and get over himself!!!! I JUST WANT TO PCS and get away from this HELL HOLE we sadly call home :_( there's nothing hear for us!!! I'm hoping that once Andy passes his PT test we'll be able to get PCS off FT Hood and into a place we actually want and like :)

Thursday, June 3, 2010

Everything is getting better ....

As of last night me and Andy are kinda back to normal. Once Sophie was asleep we decided to talk about everything basically a throw down of crap that's been bothering us. And i think it's going to work he's starting to change a little bit which shows me that he actually wants this marriage to work and that he loves me. I know that he's been threw a lot with this being his first deployment but before this chat we had i felt like he never noticed how upset i was getting and how unappreciated i was feeling. I hope this work, i dont want to end up like that small percent that ends up divorced. Tho one thing that REALLY!!! bothers me is that Andy wants me to get pregnant again during his next R&R (which will either be Sept. or Dec) and i dont want to have another baby until Sophie is almost 4 that way since I'll probably be high risk Sophie will be able to help mommy get ready for the baby and she wont be needed mommy's help so much. It's still a topic that is going on! My doctor told me that i need to wait to have another one! other wise i could become very sick or the baby wont make it and that would kill us. So i think that we'll just wait until Sophie is almost 4 whether he likes it or not. And if i have to I'll just stay on birth control without him knowing mean yes i know but if it for a good cause is it wrong?

Tuesday, June 1, 2010


At the baseball game we went to on the 25th i hurt myself by stepping down onto the next row of seats which caused me to slip then that caused me to fall threw the back of the evil seat and have it snap back onto my leg. Now here's the fun part!!! READY FOR IT??? two days after that happens bruises started appearing all over my legs totaling in 5 two on the legs & two on the ankles. So we went to metro hosptial and they told me it nothing just ice it and then it will be fine. WELL ...
after 1 week of sucking up the pain and trying to walk normally this morning my solider decided that since i was still in pain that we should go to the army hospital on post. We went and they thought they found something interesting but it turns out that it was nothing but i did get my first CT scan .... All and all I've just got to keep my legs up and ice/heat them both!!! TA DA!!!! I'm my mother's daughter lmao


How is it possible to be mad at him when he's had this weird way of making me giggle and making me mushing inside. Damn him sometimes lol I love him but I'm starting to wonder about things. I know that we've been threw worse actually WAY WORSE and this is the best we've ever been but i dont think that it's a lovey dovey marriage anymore at least for the moment it's more like ok ... love ya sure whatever to me it seems like it's been drained and it sucks! i just want it back to the way it was granted we cant just get up and leave anymore because of our Sophie but that's ok what is so wrong about getting food and playing video games or watch a movie once she's in bed??? I'm not that type of girl that enjoys going out every night probably because I've never been that way but he is. Andy LOVES drinking and going out with friends and having "guys night" and always being out of the house lol. And another thing that bothers me is that I'm trying to get help with my OCD and i feel like he takes it as a Joke. He'll leave stuff around the house or not put something back the way i had it AND IT DRIVES ME NUTS!!! And what's worse is i cant help it. I tried talking to him about it and asked him to slowly help me buy doing little things around the house but nothing happens.


I Found this site threw a fellow blogger and i found it to be interesting. I'm always trying to find new ways to write about how I'm feeling or what is new in my messed up world lol but I'm kind of shy so i dont feel comfortable writing on Facebook because I'm never in the mood to hear peoples comments mainly if there RUDE! ... Moving on now! since my solider has been home my life has been THROWN UPSIDE DOWN!!! i know longer have a car or a social life! I feel like I'm going crazy i want to start working and start school ... Apparently i dont do the whole "house wife" thing very well i dont know how people can do this lol it's SO BORING!! I wish i had some kind of help but all i get is " I'm working " so then i feel guitly because I'll i do is :
ETC... ETC.... basically I'm doing everything i would LOVE to just find a 50/50 ground for this marriage!! but it's hard talking to him because he seems to get upset and it always ends up in a fight :_( and i understand that he's getting use to being a husband/ daddy again but COME ON! is it so hard to just calm down relax and just talk ... I just want everything to go back to normal for us. Sadly for right now i doubt that will happen.